What Would the Golden Girls Read?

by Mario Puzo

From the lavish opening scene where Don Corleone entertains guests and conducts business at his daughter's wedding… to the events that lead his son, Michael to take his father's place to fight for his family… to the bloody climax where all family business is finished, The Godfather is an epic story of family, loyalty, and how "men of honor" live in their own world and die by their own laws.

Picture it: Sicily! There's no doubt Sophia would say the epic saga of Don Corleone and his family was based on her own exploits from her girlhood back in Sicily before she immigrated to Brooklyn.  

by Nicholas Pileggi

Nicholas Pileggi's vivid, unvarnished, journalistic chronicle of the life of Henry Hill—the working-class Brooklyn kid who knew, from age 12, that "to be a wiseguy was to own the world," who grew up to live the highs and lows of a gangster's life.

Throughout The Golden Girls' run, we've seen Sophia dabble in her fair share of blood curses, shady dealings, and otherwise questionable behavior, so she'd probably read this title while rolling her eyes and muttering, "Amateur."

by Colm Tóibín 

In Ireland in the early 1950s, Eilis Lacey is one of many who cannot find work at home. When a job is offered to her in America, it is clear to everyone that she must go. Leaving behind her family and country, Eilis heads for unfamiliar Brooklyn, and to a crowded boarding house where the landlady's intense scrutiny, and the small jealousies of her fellow residents, only deepen her isolation. Slowly, the pain of parting is buried beneath the rhythms of her new life—finally, Eilis begins to realize she has found a sort of happiness. As she falls in love, news comes from home that forces her back to Enniscorthy—not to the constrictions of her old life, but to new possibilities which conflict deeply with the life she has left behind in Brooklyn.

Having immigrated to Brooklyn from Sicily, as a young woman in search of better opportunities, Sophia would undoubtedly find this title hits close to home.

by Mark Manson

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us the key to being happier is to stop trying to be "positive" all the time and, instead, become better at handling adversity. For decades, we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. Those days are over. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for us all, so we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives.

Does this one even need an explanation? Sophia's unfiltered opinion is a staple of her character, (and a result of a stroke she suffered prior to the series). At her age, who cares?

by E. L. James

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic, and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, Anastasia tries to put Grey out of her mind—until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time. Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades trilogy will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

Let's be real. Blanche's copy of this book would be filled with highlighted passages, sticky notes, and scribbles in the margins saying things like "Been there, done that," "Sounds promising," and "Oh, honey, that's not how it's done." Don't forget, Blanche tried to launch her own raunchy romance novel and it was just too hot to handle!

by Margaret Mitchell

After the Civil War sweeps away the genteel life to which she has been accustomed, Scarlett O'Hara sets about to salvage her plantation home.

by Tennessee Williams

The story famously recounts how the faded and promiscuous Blanche DuBois is pushed over the edge by her sexy, brutal brother-in-law, Stanley Kowalski. Streetcar launched the careers of Marlon Brando, Jessica Tandy, Kim Hunter, and Karl Malden, and solidified the position of Tennessee Williams as one of the most important young playwrights of his generation, as well as that of Elia Kazan as the greatest American stage director of the 1940s and '50s.

Blanche's character was actually imagined as a combination between Scarlett O'Hara and Blanche DuBois, and we think they nailed it! If you want a deeper look at the source material, I think Blanche would highly recommend it. 

by Becky Rutledge

Ladies, welcome to Miss Becky's Charm School! I'm Miss Becky, and in this book, I'll reveal some of my best tips and tricks for landing the perfect man, southern-girl style. Now, I know y'all are busy, and I'm not here to blow smoke up your pretty little skirts, or to otherwise waste your precious time. But when it comes to the art of charming a man, no one does it better than the gals from Dixie. And whether you're a Yankee dame or a California babe, you can learn the secrets Southern Belles have been using for years to find the right man and put him just where you want him. Inside, we'll cover the basics every woman should know:

Blanche is the quintessential Southern belle, and, frankly, could have written this book.

by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Pa's homestead thrives, Laura gets her first job in town, blackbirds eat the corn and oats crops, Mary goes to college, and Laura gets into trouble at school, but becomes a certified school teacher.

Having grown up on a farm in the quaint little town of St. Olaf, there's no doubt Rose would fall in love with Laura Ingalls Wilder's series.

by Astrid Lindgren

The escapades of a lucky little girl who lives with a horse and a monkey—but without any parents—at the edge of a Swedish village.

Rose's good-natured, positive outlook, and love of fantastic storytelling, makes her the perfect fan of Pippi!

 by Norman Vincent Peale

In this phenomenal bestseller, "written with the sole objective of helping the reader achieve a happy, satisfying, and worthwhile life," Dr. Peale demonstrates the power of faith in action. With the practical techniques outlined in this book, you can energize your life—and give yourself the initiative needed to carry out your ambitions and hopes.

Rose's optimism is one of her best traits, but even that has its limits. We think she'd have a stack of positive thinking books like this to pull from whenever she needs a pick-me-up.

edited by Reimund Kvideland and Henning K. Sehmsdorf
All the World’s Reward presents 98 tales from Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Swedish-speaking Finland, and Iceland. Each area is represented by the complete recorded repertoire of a single storyteller. Such a focus helps place the stories in the context of the communities in which they were performed and reveals how individual folk artists used the medium of oral literature to make statements about their lives and world. Some preferred jocular stories and others, wonder tales; some performed mostly for adults, others for children; some used storytelling to criticize society, and others spun wish-fulfillment tales to find relief from a harsh reality.

Back in St. Olaf…There's no denying Rose loves to tell stories about her native St. Olaf and the rich… bizarre culture that she grew up in. A collection of Scandinavian folktales is a must-have addition to her library. 

by Betty Smith

Follows the lives of 11-year-old Francie Nolan, her younger brother Neely, and their parents, Irish immigrants who have settled in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. Johnny Nolan is as loving and fanciful as they come, but he is also often drunk and out of work, unable to find his place in the land of opportunity. His wife Katie scrubs floors to put food on the table and clothes on her children's backs, instilling in them the values of being practical and planning ahead. When Johnny dies, leaving Katie pregnant, Francie, smart, pensive and hoping for something better, cannot believe that life can carry on as before. But with her own determination, and that of her mother behind her, Francie is able to move toward the future of her dreams, completing her education and heading oft to college, always carrying the beloved Brooklyn of her childhood in her heart.

Dorothy was born and raised in Brooklyn by Sicilian immigrants during the Great Depression. With Sophia as a mother, we have no doubt Dorothy would look to Francie's journey for comfort and familiarity. 

introduction and notes by Rachel Wetzsteon

Born in Amherst, Massachusetts in 1830, Dickinson began life as an energetic, outgoing young woman who excelled as a student. However, in her mid-20s, she began to grow reclusive and eventually rarely descended from her room in her father’s house. She spent most of her time working on her poetry, largely without encouragement or real interest from her family and peers, and died at age 55. Only a handful of her 1,775 poems had been published during her lifetime. 

In Dorothy, we see a woman whose potential was ignored in her early life. But, as a Golden Girl, she flourished. We think she'd take comfort from Dickinson's work. 

introduction by Marion Meade

In this new 21st century edition, devoted admirers will be sure to find their favorite verse and stories. But a variety of fresh material has also been added to create a fuller, more authentic picture of Parker's work. At the heart of her serious work lie her political writings dealing with race, labor, and international politics. "A Dorothy Parker Sampler" blends the sublime and the silly with the terrifying, a sort of tasting menu of verse, stories, essays, political journalism, and a speech on writing, plus a catchy off-the-cuff rhyme she never thought to write down.

Do we  even need to explain? From one Master of Sass to another, we love our Dorothys!

by Rita Golden Gelman

At the age of 48, on the verge of a divorce, Rita Golden Gelman left an elegant life in L.A. to follow her dream of connecting with people in cultures all over the world. In 1986, she sold her possessions and became a nomad, living in a Zapotec village in Mexico, sleeping with sea lions on the Galapagos Islands, and residing everywhere from thatched huts to regal palaces. She has observed orangutans in the rain forest of Borneo, visited trance healers and dens of black magic, and cooked with women on fires all over the world. Rita's example encourages us all to dust off our dreams and rediscover the joy, exuberance, and hidden spirit so many of us bury when we become adults.

Dorothy became a divorcee after 38 years of marriage to that no-good putz, Stanley Zbornak. In true Dorothy fashion, she picked herself up and started over stronger than ever. So, Gelman's story is perfect for her!