New Zealand's foremost columnist has written the inaugural speech for Barack Obama ('Yea, verily, I am come unto you'), given the world a crash course in high finance ('First find your hobo'), watched Christianity play Islam at football, been in court twice (once as Britney Spears), eavesdropped the Pope in Africa, and correctly predicted the skin colour of the Olympics 100-metre champion three weeks before the race was run. He's given advice to people who are thinking of buying a jogger ('Don't'), written personal ads ('Narcissist seeks similar') and even a poem (''Tis the day before Christmas and what could be worse, Than having a columnist break into verse?'), and all in all he's done his best to shine light on a naughty world with language as fresh as a virgin's breath.
Yours sincerely -- Bwana Pope -- Proust for one -- Classifieds -- A small thing but mine own -- Know this, America -- Round the block -- Free as a bird -- The hole in the pocket -- Look away now -- From Solon to this -- Gee 20 -- Tape ends -- Lessons of the land -- Here's Y -- Up Lab Coat Ave -- Encouraging and true -- How I did good -- Showdown mit Gott -- The beast -- On the buses -- IYP to IYR -- O Holy co -- Thanks, mole -- Playing nice -- Experts say -- Coming to get you -- Lovefruit -- Naomi's good -- On buying a jogger -- The reality is -- Nuts -- Bye-bye, little nothing -- Investigating booze -- Meant for someone else -- By any other name -- Recalling the grizzly -- Whale problems -- The liturgy remains -- Water works -- Tip it in -- Go away and leave me alone -- Ida down -- The day before Christmas.