Joe Bennett's memorable thoughts on dogs, games, language, travel, the idiocy of belief, and the swamping trivia that shape our lives despite our best intentions, all of them written with the ferocious comic clarity that has made his name.
Dogs and other beasts. The anagrams of God. Communing with shags. Lying doggo. She smuggled a tortoise. Messing. They don't own nothing. He was a pretty good dog. For our convenience. Easter rising. How to be happy. Dogtape. Necks, please. Mister Muster. Felix means lucky -- Games. The boys from Brazil. Testosterone and tonic. The end of the road. The long slide to paradise. The cricket, exclamation mark. Toast him. Big cherub. Not quite death in the afternoon. Ballooooooon. Passion on the sofa. Rod and gut -- Language. Principal principles. Creep into thy narrow bed. In the bad lands. Or else say nothing. Natch. Murder your darlings. Grammar with teeth. SOBS. Talking lousy. Good as a rich monk. Lucy mon. Five and a half intimates. Mean. Do you care?. Fifty thousand an hour, money-makingly -- Teaching. The tongue-thing. Prizing advice. A call to arms. Cosh the teacher. He was my English teacher. The values of Minscum. More tosh. A lot like us. Kneeing zucchini --^
Domestic and personal stuff. Be the boss. Cars and frying pans. Baking nuts. Twenty yak. Love for lunch. Small stuff. Einstein's bus. Lie lie lie. Hope and pile-cream. A tale of two mice. White rectangular domestic things. Lotsadeadredindians. Land you can play with. Dreams on wheels. At two drunks swimming. A cup of Eros. When your turangawaewae crumbles. Between us and dust. Hello, heat. Where do you go to?. Nannies and billies. Nesting recruits. See me saw. The threshold of the ginge. Up Apophthegm Mountain. Ah, winter. Hello again -- Travel. From here to prostate. Moose-hunting by supermarket trolley. Aleppo. Cuchulain's children. Ooooh la bloody la. Wrong room --^
The things people do. The ods roll over. Eating with experts. I believe in pigs. Of chopping and sticking. Would you care to?. The squeals of children. Hobbes at the trough. Mad as accountants. The big question. How far away is the lizard?. You too. I shall. Hope is dead. At the Dickens. Warm, wet and threatless. Hapsburg staplers. Let's make with the jam. Train me, please -- The things peopel believe. Standing for nothing. Deep in the dogs. The thyroid of Unks. Girlie sox. Oi Popey-boy. Lies to spare. Glossy lala. Destiny's children. Hi ho. Dear College of Cardinals. Not if, but when. Funny and true. Reverend reasoning. Little Miss Moss. In the deep midsummer. Circumbloodychristmas --^
Political and social stuff. P.C. Sturrock. Ringing the world. The man was a pornographist. Because he is a man. Jules. Food, fun and a tickle behind the ear. Is anybody there?. De mortuis nihil nisi Latin. I, speechwriter. For we are young and free. White brain, black body. Dung time. Gotcha. Can't hear you. All you need to know. Sprawled and gurgling. Brand life. You can say things like. Catabingo.