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"Why She Can't Throw the Bum Out: What Keeps People Stuck in Bad Relationships," with Elizabeth Zelvin, LCSW, psychotherapist and mystery writer, author of "Death Will Help You Leave Him."

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February 18, 2010

Why do people stay in bad relationships? Why do so many of us pick partners who are unavailable emotionally, physically, or legally? Why does anybody love somebody who's abusive or addicted? T here are several good clinical reasons, having nothing to do with reason, intelligence, or common sense, why it's so hard for many to stop loving people who are bad for them. The problem is compounded by what our culture tells us about love. Everybody wants the kind of love we see in movies and hear about in popular songs. But that expectation often leads to chronic dissatisfaction with the relationships we have and a tendency to choose unwisely in seeking the love we want. A psychotherapist and novelist whose most recent mystery is about love addiction and codependency talks about these painful and misunderstood issues.