More of Our Favorite Fictional Librarians, Ranked... Again!

Two years ago, here at The New York Public Library, we wrote a blog post that ranked some of our favorite fictional librarians. We chose half a dozen and assigned scores that were definitely not arbitrary at all, and then… readers had a lot of opinions.

Dozens of people commented, tweeted, and Facebooked to let us know about all the great characters we missed. You’re all very passionate about your fictional librarians! Cool cool, so are we. In this post, Gwen Glazer (librarian in Readers Services) and Brian Stokes (manager at Mulberry Street Library) have followed up on the original six librarians by adding eight more. 

Feel free to keep the suggestions coming. Your comments on Volume 1 sparked this Volume 2 post, so if we still haven’t included your favorite picks, don’t despair! Let us know in the comments, and Volume 3 might happen someday.

Bunny Watson, Desk Set

Brian: Once upon a time, much longer ago than it feels like, I was in library school and a crew of NYC-based library school students and real, certified librarians got together to chat about library things under the name The Desk Set. It’s quite a clever name, really, and I’m guessing they all took a moment at their get-togethers to reflect on the greatest fictional librarian of all time, Bunny Watson. Bunny was one of the first librarians ever to defeat the inevitable killer-of-all-libraries, The Computer. 

Gwen: I’ll spare you my standard rant about how libraries embrace technology (ebooks, anyone? TechConnect classes? free WiFi available for checkout?) but Bunny is the real deal. Played by Katherine Hepburn in the 1957 film, Bunny lays down information like a boss, answering the phone with her huge crew of colleagues and doling out facts like candy. 

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. Bunny answers a bunch of inane questions from the higher-ups with aplomb.
   
• Helpfulness: 5/5. She basically helps out the guy who’s building a computer to replace her. That’s, like, troublingly helpful.
   
• Enforcement of library policies: 5/5. Technically there’s not a whole lot of enforcement of library policy going down at the corporate library Bunny works in, but whatever. She’s getting all fives.
   

• Overall: 5/5. Bunny Watson is our patron saint and guiding light. 

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. She is a machine. Plus she’s really funny, so, points for that.

• Helpfulness: 5/5. The volume of phone-answering in this movie is impressive. Remote reference service! Yessss.

• Enforcement of library policies: 2/5. There’s so much canoodling and champagne-drinking and after-hours revelry in this library. I’m here for it, but "enforcement"? Not so much.

• Overall: 4/5. That scene when the guy rolls The Computer in is iconic, and so is Bunny. 
   

Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle

Brian: I’ll be honest, I mostly volunteered to take the lead on this one because I wanted to make some jokes about the terrifically awful film Batman & Robin, in which Batgirl is portrayed by a post-CluelessAlicia Silverstone. However, it has come to light in my research that this incarnation of Batgirl is actually the character Barbara Wilson, not Barbara Gordon, and she’s Alfred’s niece/some rando and not Police Commissioner Gordon’s daughter/head librarian of the Gotham City Public Library. 

Gwen: You said absolutely nothing relevant about Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle in those two very long sentences.

Brian: You are mostly correct.

Gwen: …

Brian: Alright. As already stated, Barbara Gordon is the head librarian of GCPL. She runs the joint. Seems unlikely that she’d also have time to fight crime, but that’s what she does as Batgirl. Then she takes a bullet from the Joker and becomes Oracle, helping out her crime-fighting buds as a disabled computer expert. Long story short, she’s quite a skilled information professional who perhaps gets a bit carried away with the cosplay.

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. She’s risen to the top of her field, running the library system for the largest city in the DC Universe (I think? Is Metropolis bigger?). Safe to say she knows her library science.

• Helpfulness: 4/5. She’s super helpful… as long as you’re not a criminal.

• Enforcement of library policies: 3/5. Too busy fighting crime by night to really live and breathe the library code of conduct.

• Overall: 4/5. Could be a 5 if she’d just focus on slingin’ books, but she didn’t choose the cape; the cape chose her.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. Full disclosure: I am familiar with this character largely through her Wikipedia entry, which includes the notation, "This section may contain an excessive amount of intricate detail that may interest only a particular audience." But Wikipedia, that’s the whole point of Wikipedia! Incidentally, my favorite librarian-y thing to do with Wikipedia entries is to read the primary sources cited in the footnotes—and there are many of them—and now I’ve spent several hours reading about Batgirl, so maybe I’m kiiiiiind of an expert even though I have never read/seen/encountered this character before? Anyway, she seems really cool and smart, so she’s getting full marks for knowledge, period, the end. 

• Helpfulness: 3/5. I’m super into this idea of the librarian stereotypes (meek, mild-mannered, bun-sporting) being used as a cover for an efficacious superhero. Respect, but it doesn’t sound like she’s spending a ton of time interacting with patrons. 

• Enforcement of library policies: 3/5. As Brian said, she’s too busy dealing with enforcement elsewhere to focus on the library.

• Overall: 4/5. I really love that this character has become an empowering figure for librarians, women, and disabled people. 
   

The cat formerly known as Cheshire, from the Thursday Next series

Gwen: I want to live in this universe and become a book-jumping detective like Thursday. Can I do that? 

Brian: Wait, you’re really asking me? No.

Gwen: She jumps into books, Brian. Into books. She is maybe not exactly, presicely a librarian. But she and her colleagues in the Jurisfiction unit hop from novel to novel, maintaining plot order and reining in unruly characters who function as actors in a play that only runs when someone is reading them.  One of our commenters gave her “5/5 for @$$ kicking.” She also has a pet dodo named Pickwick, who says "plock plock"! I would like a pet dodo, please.

Brian: Why are you making me say no to everything? People are going to get the wrong idea about me, like I’m some kind of joyless monster who just says no to everything, yet you keep asking for things that are impossible, like living in an alternate universe or getting a pet dodo, which is an extinct flightless bird.

Gwen: Right, sorry. The Great Library in this universe is so cool—it has 52 levels, and you can use it to jump into any book in the entire world. Its head librarian starts out as the Cheshire Cat, who is redistricted and becomes the Cat Formerly Known as Cheshire, or Unitary Authority of Warrington Cat. Like the original in Alice in Wonderland, he can appear and disappear at will, and his smile is the last thing to go. 

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. The Jasper Fforde wiki claims the cat has "an encyclopaedic knowledge of every single book in the library, knowing not just where it is, but also how many times it has been read ever and how many people are reading it at that moment."

• Helpfulness: 1/5. He does help Thursday and the others occasionally, but it’s tough to find him. Not great patron service.

• Enforcement of library policies: 0/5. Much of these books are a joyful send-up of bureaucracy, and the library is no exception. I’d expect the library policies are capricious and make no sense; I have no idea if the cat knows or cares what they are. Yay! 

• Overall: 4/5. Plock plock!

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 4/5. So the cat basically knows everything. I guess that’s admirable, but it’s almost like he knows too much. This cat is dangerous.

• Helpfulness: 0/5. Hot take alert: Cats aren’t helpful. I know there are probably a lot of readers out there firmly on Team Cat, but look at yourselves in the mirror and tell yourselves that cats are helpful. See if you can do it. You can’t!

• Enforcement of library policies: 3/5. I suspect the policies are problematic, but the cat’s enforcement of them is nothing short of exceptional. Honestly, I’m just confused by this whole thing and a 3 seems like the easy way out.

• Overall: 3/5. Plock this.
   

Librarians in picture books

Gwen: There’s Miss Rumphius. There’s Library Lil. There’s Miss Brooks (who Loves Books). There are librarians in Library Lion, Chicken Story Time, Bunny’s Book Club, Tomás and the Library Lady, and Wild about Books. There are books based on real-life librarians like Pura Belpre (The Storyteller’s Candle), Alia Muhammed Baker (The Librarian of Basra), Dorothy Thomas (Miss Dorothy and Her Bookmobile), and the WPA Pack-Horse Librarians (That Book Woman). Who are we missing? And with the exception of the end of one of these books—no spoilers—can anyone think of a male librarian who stars in a picture book? 

Brian: Full disclosure: After spending all day in the library, the last thing I want to read to my son, in our precious time before he goes to bed, is a picture book about libraries. Perhaps that’ll change when he demonstrates more of an interest in a book’s content rather than what the book might taste like, but for now we’re pretty much sticking to the adventures of various anthropomorphic bears and monkeys. Nevertheless, the fine authors and illustrators of these books do a lovely job honoring our profession in their work, for the most part. And if anyone’s interested in a male librarian to use as inspiration for a new series of books… 

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. It’s impossible to generalize about this many characters but, for the most part, they’re pretty great, and they’re sometimes presented like they know everything. We’ll take it. 

• Helpfulness: 3/5. Again, impossible to generalize, but Marge, Betty, and Leola—the three tireless allies in The Boy Who Was Raised by Librarians—get extra points for versatility.

• Enforcement of library policies: 2/5. There’s a really regressive, negative image of librarians as shushers that appears far too often in picture books. Honorable mention for the nameless staff members of Lola at the Library, who never shush in the children’s room! Good job.  

• Overall: 3/5. Solid performance, with room for improvement.

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. Impossibilities aside, we can generally say that all these librarians know their stuff.

• Helpfulness: 4/5. Pretty much every librarian here is trying their hardest, though let’s be real—in the fictional universe of picture book libraries, occasional mishaps will happen.

• Enforcement of library policies: 2/5. Agree with my bud Gwen on the presentation of shushing being some tired nonsense. Can we please move on? I have never shushed anyone. I’ve told people to keep it down, asked them to be quiet, and suggested they take it elsewhere. But shushed? Never.

• Overall: 3/5. This’ll be a 5/5 as soon as the picture book series featuring yours truly hits shelves.
   

Ook, Discworld

Gwen: Terry Pratchett. Am I right or am I right? 

Brian: …

Gwen: Terry Pratchett? Discworld? He wrote more than 50 books about it. 

Brian: … 

Gwen: Sigh. Okay. The Discworld 'verse is a fantasy world. It’s a funny, complicated, intense place. Ook is the librarian of Unseen University, where the characters go to do research. He’s an orangutan, and the only thing he says is "Ook." (He started out as a human but a magical accident turned him into an orangutan, FYI. Workplace hazard.) 

Brian: Oof.

Gwen: I think you mean "Ook," bud.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. To cite Night Watch, "he's the only one who knows where all the books are." 

• Helpfulness: N/A. We don’t speak the same language, so it’s hard to tell. But the characters in the books can understand him, and he does scramble up and down shelves to get books for patrons.

• Enforcement of library policies: 3/5. Some of the books are chained up to protect the patrons, and the library itself is an M.C. Escher spin on the Bodleian… those aren’t ideal working conditions, but Ook is making it work.

• Overall: 4/5. Ook is doing a really solid job here. He also happens to belong to a network of powerful senior librarians who can travel through time and space at will—I’d take him as a colleague any day.

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 3/5. How can we really know? If he’s the only one who knows where all the books are, it’s not like we can test that. I don’t know about this guy.

• Helpfulness: 4/5. It seems like he’s making a real effort despite some limitations.

• Enforcement of library policies: 3/5. It’s a work in progress. Maybe he needs some better signage? Signs in libraries really work well.

• Overall: 3/5. I like this Ook and I’m rooting for him, but he’s got some work to do. 

Helma Zukas, the Miss Zukas mystery series

Gwen: Helma is the protagonist of a long-running series of a dozen cozy mysteries by Jo Dereske, begun in 1994 and ending in 2011. Helma probably would not appreciate me using her first name. She’s a bit fussy, a bit uptight, a bit old-school. She uses "Oh, Faulkner!" as an expletive on page 3 of the first installment in the series, Miss Zukas and the Library Murders, and that is upper-level and she gets major points for it in my book. (See what I did there?)

Brian: I do see what you did there, and I choose not to acknowledge it.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. She actually uses library resources, intensely, to help solve murders sometimes! These books kind of teach people about libraries?! Full credit.

• Helpfulness: 3/5. She doesn’t go out of her way, but she takes her desk shifts seriously.

• Enforcement of library policies: 2/5. Given that this library has a lot of… issues… with murder and violence, I think Helma is doing the best she can. Her patrons keep getting killed with [redacted due to spoilers] in her branch, though, so she can’t get full credit in this category.

• Overall: 4/5. Represent, Helma.

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 5/5. True story: I occasionally enjoy the pleasure of working with a library user who likes to tell me all how inferior librarians and the libraries of today are to those of the golden age. Helma is a librarian for those people.

• Helpfulness: 3/5. Doing what needs to be done, but not really going above and beyond, you know?

• Enforcement of library policies: 1/5. Is this library ever open? It just seems like it’s a constant crime scene. 

• Overall: 3/5. A fine little hit of nostalgia, but Helma could use a bit of an update.
   

Bookman, Seinfeld 

Brian: I don’t doubt that his intentions are pure, but the scorched earth approach of this "library cop" has really given subsequent generations of library professionals a bad reputation with the overdue crowd. How many times have I had to fake chuckle at a fine payer’s half-serious aside, "I better pay, I don’t want you to send the Library Cops after me!" as they fish through their wallet for 75 cents? Too many times. I’m so tired.

Gwen: Er, yeah. You all know that paying fines = supporting your library, right? When I thank patrons for paying fines, they look at me like I’m bananas. This guy certainly didn’t help matters. 

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 1/5. As far as I can tell, Bookman’s only concerned with one thing: hunting down overdue books. He needs to spend some time in the children’s room or in a YA program and expand his skill set.

• Helpfulness: 2/5. I guess you can stretch this to say he’s just trying to help everyone by getting library books back, but I dunno. Feels like this is almost more about him than the books. 

• Enforcement of library policies: 5/5. Nobody enforces harder than this dude, but I feel like that steely exterior is simply a cover up for a heart that simply wants to love and be loved.

• Overall: 2/5. I’m more of a let’s-do-cool-stuff librarian than a let’s-enforce-rules librarian, but I accept the fact that the world probably needs both types.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 0/5. Does he demonstrate any knowledge? Is he really a librarian? Is he doing a poor imitation of Lennie Briscoe? So many questions.

• Helpfulness: 0/5. "You think this is all a big joke, don’t you?" That’s… not helpful. I don’t appreciate all the pointing, either. 

• Enforcement of library policies: 5/5. He does go above and beyond to get that book back, I suppose. And has a low tolerance for punks. 

• Overall: 1/5. This guy leans on the "cop" part of "library cop" a little too hard. Punk!

The Librarian Ghost, Ghostbusters

Gwen: Her name is, apparently, Dr. Eleanor Twitty. She plays a bit role in the beginning of the 1984 film, scaring the daylights out of one of her own colleagues (not cool, Nellie) and then the intrepid 'busters. 

Brian: A bit role? I beg to differ. I distinctly recall a period where my mom had to fast forward a VHS copy of Ghostbusters past Dr. Twitty’s cold open because I simply couldn’t handle it despite enjoying the rest of the film without issue. Whether I was seven years old or 27 years old is irrelevant and I will not be taking any further questions.

Gwen: Ha, okay, no more questions asked. You might also want to steer clear of the early ‘90s Ghostbusters videogame, in which she plays a major role, and in which our main building at 42nd Street and 5th Avenue gets totally trashed. A lot of (virtual) books were harmed in the playing of this game, and Fortitude the Lion doesn’t fare so well either.

Gwen’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 1/5. We’ll give Eleanor a point for studiousness, here, I guess? 

• Helpfulness: 0/5. Levitating and reshelving books in the wrong spot… flinging cards out of the catalog… filing books in vertical towers on the floor between the stacks… not so helpful. And she shushes, just to add insult to injury. Sigh.

• Enforcement of library policies: 0/5. Havoc! Havoc, we say. Seeing that ectoplasm all over that beautiful old card catalog is especially troubling.

• Overall: 0/5. Although, who cares about rankings if you’re dead?

Brian’s rankings:

• Knowledge: 1/5. I have no objective reason for assigning this as she never demonstrates any knowledge or lack thereof, but she’s a terrifying and seemingly mean ghost and as such should not get anything but 1s or 0s. 

• Helpfulness: 0/5. Incredibly helpful if your goal is scaring children off the idea of ever going in libraries. Not so much in any other sense of the word.

• Enforcement of library policies: 1/5. I mean, she does seem to care about maintaining a quiet environment? I guess? I don’t know. She’s terrible.

• Overall: 0/5. Listen, I’m sure those stacks below our main building are lovely. But she could still be down there. And she might have friends. I’m just going to stay here.

Did we miss your favorite fictional librarian?  Let us know in the comments!

Images via wikis for Discworld, Ghostbusters, and Seinfeld.

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