Going Back in Time: High School Reunion
Several months ago, I received, via Facebook, notification of my upcoming high school reunion. (Technically, I graduated high school twenty-nine years ago, but the organizers of my high school reunion combined the graduating classes of 1984 and 1985 for our 30th reunion). After recovering from my initial surprise at the forced realization that nearly three decades had elapsed since I departed the hallowed halls of my alma mater with finality, I commenced to view the rather ample magnification of my girth over the past thirty years as well as the fact that my countenance reflects that my birth occurred over four decades ago with the twin feelings of dread and embarrassment. I was able to mollify these feelings to an extent, reasoning that a professional make-up application would at least create the appearance of eradicating some years from my face, but my weight remained a “weighty” issue for me. I briefly considered donning a small-scale circus tent with an imprint of the edifice of my alma mater on said garment, but with my five-foot-two frame, I realized that I was more likely to provide the appearance of a corpulent Cousin It than a stunningly statuesque woman who just loved a plethora of fabric swirling around her thin form.
The NYPL contains books and DVDs in its Circulating Collection pertaining to the subject of high school reunions, including one titled, The High School Reunion Diet: Lose Twenty Years in Thirty Days. I silently thanked the heavens above while placing a hold on a copy of the immediately aforementioned title with such alacrity my colleagues briefly worried that they would need to douse the keyboard I was using with baking soda because I would inadvertently set the keys of said keyboard on fire with my typing speed (my fingers are not overly blessed with adipose, for a mercy). My days of waiting with eager anticipation for the relevant book were characterized by my practicing attempts to “hold my stomach in” (this only created the appearance of a meager five pound weight loss) and I tried on so many black dresses that I overheard one of the saleswomen at the clothing store comment to one of her colleagues that I must be so overcome with grief that it rendered me unable to decide on a dress to purchase).
One night, while continuing the agonizing wait for the book I eagerly desired, I received a telephone call from a friend who graduated the year after I did from the same school. I recall reading in what I think was an Agatha Christie Jane Marple mystery that "one tends to keep the friends one makes when one is between the ages of ten and twenty" when I was a teen (devouring Agatha Christie mysteries was the other pastime I engaged in when not writing satirical plays instead of attending to the math class assignment), and I have found Ms. Christie's observation in that regard to be highly accurate. "Jackie" inquired if I had purchased my outfit yet for my upcoming reunion. I muttered, in a very dejected tone, "I may not attend the reunion." Jackie's sudden, sharp intake of breath surprised me. "Muriel, that is just ridiculous! We had so much fun at that school." Jackie's comment caused me to pause for reflection later that night. While I was not a cheerleader nor in the Glee Club, I was blessed, at that juncture of my life, with good friends, caring teachers, the opportunity to mature intellectually and emotionally, became a member of the school newspaper and, though I complained at the time, honed my ability to aim sardonic humor at ridiculous and/or sublime situations, bolstered by the companionable laughter of my classmates at the same situations (one brief example should suffice: my high school implemented the use of the school's first computer in my freshman or sophomore year. 'Wilbur' was (inadvertently, I suppose, although one of my jejune sobriquets for my alma mater was 'Institute of Torture') programmed to print out program cards listing classes with non-existent room numbers concomitant with the implemtation of my school's policy of denying entry to students who were late to class to the relevant classrooms. Readers may envision the pandemonium that ensued for weeks until the matter was thoroughly sorted out).
The date of the reunion dawned prior to my receiving the deeply desired book cited above. Other financial commitments prevented me from treating myself to a professional make-up application, and I consoled myself with the thought that the others attending the reunion had also advanced chronologically three decades. As I approached the room of the catering hall that was the site of my 30th high school reunion, my prior feelings of apprehension concerning the ravages of time on my physical being were virtually dissipated as I was warmly greeted by the very thoughtful chief organizer of the event, Patti S. (one year ahead of me in high school). The remaining vestiges of apprehension and insecurity were lifted away on the veil of time that was skirted away, to be supplanted by the pervasive atmosphere of genuine joy experienced by my former classmates at reuniting after so many years.
While none of my, to indulge in the use of a modern acronym, "BFFs" from back in the day were present at the reunion, the affable terms characterizing my interactions with classmates in high school remained. (It was utterly refreshing to be in a room replete with entities who called me by my jejune nickname.) If anyone had stated to me thirty years earlier that fellow students who I saw nearly every day for four years, sharing the experiences of dodging dodge balls in gym class, engaging in elevated sleight-of-hand note passing in science class, creating nicknames for the teachers and, when applicable for "cutting class purposes," plotting escape routes so complicated that I suspect some of my former classmates were instrumental in inspiring MapQuest years later, would assemble in three decades' time with such exuberance and gratitude to be present to visit with one another, I would have believed the prognosticator of said event had inhaled a trifle too much of the overpowering scent of mimeograph fluid that was ubiquitous in the department offices of my alma mater during tests taking time. As I witnessed this past Saturday, there is an inexorable lifelong bond created between those who, as adolescents, are coerced to consume cafeteria food that was seemingly leftover from Banquo's banquet (Macbeth), endure substitute teachers who utilized the jejune vernacular of the day ("take a chill pill") in an attempt to quiet an unruly class, be chased around the Gothic edifice of our school when cutting class by a principal who some students regarded as physically redolent of Santa Claus, and be educated concerning the plays of Shakespeare by an English teacher who insisted on quoting each character's lines in character (think Sergeant Slaughter shrieking in a pseudo feminine voice, "...Out damn spot, out!"). (And, as difficult as it may be for those of my nephew and niece's generation to imagine, my classmates and I accomplished all of the above, plus a whole lot more, without the usage of cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc.) Work commitments prevented me from attending a tour of my alma mater that occurred at noon on the date of my 30th high school reunion. (Said tour was munificently provided by the most dedicated high school English teacher on the planet, Mr. Joe Sicilian, who continues to teach at my alma mater.) A former classmate at the reunion, who managed to participate in the grand tour of our old high school, informed me that not very much regarding the physical plant of our school has altered, and that "the auditorium is exactly the same as it was thirty years ago!," proving that, contrary to the adage on this topic, one may go "home" again!
While The High School Reunion Diet: Lose Twenty Years in Thirty Days book provides some wonderful advice and is certainly well worth reading, the unvarnished truth regarding high school reunions is, to paraphrase the quote often attributed to Woody Allen, "eighty (ninety-nine percent, in my case) percent of the fun is just showing up." The NYPL contains material in its Circulating Collection that will serve to enhance your high school reunion experience. Nothing but warm wishes, good health and great good fortune to my former classmates as well as all the educators who endured our plethora of adolescent shenanigans (although our high school was not of the parochial variety, one of my classmates was the subject of a teacher's dean's office referral that contained the plea, "Put the fear of God into this student!"), and who encouraged us to recognize and live up to our potential, not only as students, but as human beings. Here's to seeing you all at our 35th high school reunion in five years hence!
Books
- The High School Reunion Diet: Lose 20 Years in 30 Days
- The High School Reunion Diet: Younger, Thinner and Smarter in 30 Days
- A Turn in the Road
- High School Reunion
- The Last Time I Saw You (audio book)
- Gaudy Night
- Twilight Innings
- Why Can't I Be You
- Deadly Reunion
- Pawing Through the Past (e-book)
DVDs
Websites
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